Saluting George Harrison

I don't know why nobody told you
How to unfold your love
I don't know how someone controlled you
They bought and sold you

I spent my morning watching one of his interviews where he spoke about spirituality and how everyone was chasing it, but somehow they don't want to know what happens after death. In the coming minutes he mentioned how he was yearning to meet someone impressive during his Beatles times. Then he met Ravi Shaktar and he found his spirituality, his answers and musical inspiration through him, Eastern philosophy.

I don't know what happened to you but you were a truly impressive person. I hope somehow you are in peace.




P.S: I also learned that Martin Scorsese directed a documentary about this life. I plan on watching it soon with a glass of wine in his honor.

thoughts about stuff

it's the idea, not the person that I was very much into. the idea that such a person exists on the face of the earth. everything went as I hoped it would. but wrong place, wrong time(no time). so yeah i'm kind of accepting this fact.

"maybe i'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new" said alex turner. well not anymore. let's get over it already.

my dreams are the worst. especially when they are wonderful, and then I wake up to realize they aren't real.

..that I'm not holding a hand I want to, and I should have when I had the chance.
..that I should have hugged that person when I had the chance.

and then I realize I'm just hugging my pillow.

500 Days of Summer

+ I just... I just woke up one day and I knew. 
-Knew what? 
+ ...What I was never sure of with you.

The movie I watched twice. First time in cinema with my then boyfriend, second time -now, a long time after breaking up with him. I remember the first time, I was feeling very sorry for Tom. I never understood what Summer was thinking. I never understood what was wrong in their relationship.

Second time, I got it. She wanted to be independent. She clearly told him that she doesn't want a relationship with him. I still believe that she could have handled the situation differently, but she basically was right.
And he was basically wrong to ignore all the times she told him.

Esinti

Eskiden olup bittiklerini bugun o kadar da takmamak, hatta unutmak ne acayip biseymis. Zaman boyle bisey sanirim.
Ha bir yerde gorunce gozun iki saniyeden fazla takili kalir, ama olur o kadar.

Hbd babe!

Awesomeness level: over 9000

Depeche Mode awesomeness.

ok I saw Dave performing, and -depeche mode- it was much more than I could imagine. But I still didn't see "World in my eyes" which means that I have to go to another concert, right? :)

Misery loves company..

When I analyze myself, I spot the weak links that I have, and focus on them. Try to fix them.

Chronic misery addict.
Easily emotionally attached.
Unnecessarily shy except when singing.
Only likes the beginnings of things. (Well I talked about this one already, haven't I?)
Just likes the chase.
Easily bored.

Here, there and everywhere..

just laugh.

this is the kind of shit that makes my crush come back

http://www.buzzfeed.com/lyapalater/images-that-will-change-your-perception-of-harry-potter

Musical milestone!

I can't believe all this time I thought of Beatles as a boring group of nice boys, making nice boy songs.

And it turned out to be opposite, totally inspiring, including very gooood songs.

I have been listening to Revolver on repeat for a week now, it is totally awesome.

And today I moved onto Abbey Road.

Because the sky is blue, it makes me cry.

let me show you the world in my eyes

If I die before seeing Dave perform "world in my eyes" live, I will be very sad.

In fact, I have a bucket list in my head called "A million things I should do before I die".

It's not about death though, it's about the fact that our youth is fleeting, and I'm very afraid of it.

I feel as if I'm not enjoying my best years as much as I should, and some of the people I met in Stockholm actually confirmed my doubts. 

"You should listen to your heart more." 

Maybe I should, but I'm afraid. Afraid of getting hurt, so I can't put my hand in the fire and feel it. Instead, I feel like I walk around with a fire extinguisher.

But isn't this the time which I'm supposed to get hurt and learn from my experiences?

I'm always running from the time, I know that someday it will catch me, but I want to do as much as I can before it does. 

I always feel like I'm going to die young somehow.

See how I started writing this thing, and how I'm finishing it? It starts out as fun, while at the end it gets moody and sad. That's why I only like the beginnings of things. But I turn them that way, so does this mean that a Don Draper actually lives inside me? 

Ugh. Enough self-analysis for today. 

One of my favorites.

Under the spreading chestnut tree
I sold you and you sold me.
There lie they, and here lie we
Under the spreading chestnut tree.

bring your chains

I have so much stuff that I want to say and so much that I want to share. I feel something awakening inside me, which was sleeping for I don't know how long. I believe that something I want is somewhere out there, and I believe that someday I will find it, now or later. Do you know how important this is? Because hope is what keeps us alive, and I had lost it long time ago. Now that I've found it, I think that I have a chance of making it come true.

If this makes any sense at all, let me know.

Weird thoughts

Again and again, put into words perfectly by Alex Turner, with a perfect timing.

"Are there some aces up your sleeve?
Have you no idea that you're in deep?
I dreamt about you nearly every night this week
How many secrets can you keep?
Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you
somehow and I play it on repeat
Until I fall asleep
Spilling drinks on my settee

Do I wanna know
if this feeling flows both ways?
Sad to see you go
Was sort of hoping that you'd stay
Baby we both know
That the nights were mainly made for saying things that
you can't say tomorrow day"

my bday gift from Alex Turner.

fucking awesome.


I hope that this is the messenger of a new album.

I love it.

What if "previously on Mad Men" was as ambiguous as the previews? And BEES?!!

anytime, anywhere

Love it.

son perde

observations

i feel free as a bird as i'm getting closer to graduation! :)

90's was an era we went through for us to never forget how terrible fanny packs were.

I feel that I am young but not an adolescent, and those two things have a definite line between each other.

The less I know about politics in a country, the happier I am.

I feel more mature than my peers here.

I miss partying and I hate my neighbors.

I miss my buddies & I don't like the fake "friendship" here. Or maybe I don't give enough chances.

Today a guy who's my father's age told me that he is the same young "stupid" guy on the inside, but he had to grow "outside": clothes, manners etc. I wonder if I will feel like that when I am 50.

çember

Ya dışındasındır çemberin
Ya da içinde yer alacaksın
Kendin içindeyken, kafan dışındaysa
Çaresi yok kardeşim
Her akşam böyle içip, kederlenip
Mutsuz olacaksın
Meyhane masalarında..
Kahrolacaksın!
Şiirlerle, şarkılarla kendini avutacaksın
Ya dışındasındır çemberin
Ya da içinde yer alacaksın..

O hafiften umut veren melodisiyle cok celisen sozleri, hancer gibi gogsunu delip gecerken ne yapacaksin peki?Sen cemberin disinda misin, icinde mi?

Genel bir bakis

Evet cok sansli hissediyorum, emindim Avrupa'da okumak istedigimden. Simdi calisan arkadaslarimin halini gorunce, mutlu oluyorum kendi adima, ozgurlugumun zirvesindeyim. Bu boyle gitse keske hep; ama gitmeyecek iste. Ben de ise girip o sikici hayata girecegim, tek ilgilendigim sey is olacak, gorunmeyen zincirler elimi ayagimi baglayacak, o cok sevdigim gezileri kafama estiginde yapamayacagim.

Bu aralar bir kacis yolu ariyorum, bakalim bulabilecek miyim su 6 ay icinde.

Robbie Williams kills a woman on TV!

Nice way to die! :)

Hayat ve dusunceler

Arada bir, hayat o kadar cok ustume geliyormus gibi hissediyorum ki, aslinda gucsuzum diyorum. Bavulu bohcayi toplayip problemlerden kacasim geliyor. Gideyim Turkiye'de mis gibi isimde calisayim, annemin babamin dizinin dibinde oturayim, standart bi hayatim olsun.

Sonra da oyle hayat yasamaya degmez ki diyorum, cunku yasamaya deger hayat, butun sorunlari asip kendini mutlu ettigin hayattir.

Benim su anki buyuk sorunum da bu nefret ettigim lanet okul. Beni bavul bohca tasinmak isteten, olesiye nefret ettigim okul. Beni burada durduran da sevdigim yasam tarzim, geziyorum, egleniyorum, canli bir sehirde yasiyorum. Beni dondurmeyi dusunduren de o cok ozledigim ailem ve arkadaslarim. Beni burada kalmaya iten de donsem de onlari surekli goremeyecegimi bilmem.

Aslinda "ne orada mutlu, ne burada" sendromu yasiyorum. Kendime tamamen tatmin edici, ucuncu bir hayat secmem gerekiyor sanirim.

well, she hit them with her ten cent pistol because they ruined her name.

tek not

"hayat devam ediyor" dedim, sozumden de donmem. konusmamayi secmem haksiz oldugumu gostermez. duygularimin reklamini yapmiyorum diye hikayenin benim tarafimi dinlemeden taraf secen, karar veren arkadaslarim var ya, onlara kirginim bi tek.